Broken Beginnings: Chapter Thirty Eight

Chapter Thirty Eight:





Tuesday December.24.2018





Mother put up the tree a few days ago, as I watched my Mother put the Star on the top of the tree, and I found myself fighting back tears, even as I watched. Grief snuck up at the strangest times sometimes, but the tree was up, and I helped her decorate. even as tears filled my eyes.





“It’s okay Naomi, you are allowed to grieve.” Mom said gently. “There’s nothing wrong with grief, it’s normal.” Mother said reassuringly but I was having trouble with coming to terms with all of it.





I simply nodded, and went on with decorating the tree, as we had years before, but usually Naomi and Katarina was there to help, and when we were little Bobe and Mom would decorate the tree, letting us put up little ornaments we had made in school.



“I’m not okay.” I admitted softly. “Not right now, but I will be.”



Mom stopped what she was doing and lead me to the sofa where we could talk. And I needed to talk, I needed her shoulder to lean on.





“Sweetheart, it’s okay, not to be okay, you don’t always have to be strong for everyone else. You are allowed to hurt and grieve, and I hope you never doubt the fact, that I’ll always be there for you.”





I was sitting on the sofa, next to Mother, gently resting my head on her shoulder, as she comforted me, assuring me that I was going to be okay. I felt as if a damm had broken that day, and a thousand tears flowed. I was exhausted…