Broken Beginnings: Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Five:
It’s been bitterly cold, we cannot seem to get warm, so we pile clothes, and the few blankets we have, in the hopes that we would get warm. I try to keep Elizabeth warm and safe, but there are times when we have to go out, when we have to get food, Elizabeth must come too, because it is not safe to leave her at home, nor is it safe to take her out. We have watched as they have shot children for the sport of it, some are good, some will smile kindly at the children, but mostly they look at us, like we are animals, like we are less than human. They think that we have done something wrong, that we are taking up air, that the Aryans should believe. Many simply want to wipe us out, and work us to death before they do, and those who can’t work, those who are different have a horrible fate. That is why I am so afraid for Elizabeth, what happens when they realize that she is not fully there, that there is something wrong with the way she thinks.
I have taught her to walk along, pretending not to see, never looking anyone in the eyes. Even that can be dangerous. I have watched someone shot, simply for walking by a Nazi guard. It is not fair, but it is the way it is, and we cannot do anything about it. We are helpless here, in this walled in prison.
As we so often do, we walked to get our rations that day. If we do not go we do not eat, so it is as simple as that. Mother has to work, so Elizabeth and I must go down and get the food, the little food we get with our ration coupons, so little food it barely keeps us alive, but somehow we manage, because we really have no other choice than to manage.
I see the way watching others hurt, affects Elizabeth, I see the pain in her eyes when she sees that someone is in pain. It hurts her, she has such a good and kind heart. If there were more people in the world like her, perhaps this would not have happened. Perhaps we would be at home, not locked in some ghetto, waiting to be taken to our deaths. Some will survive, but most will not, and it scares me. I am not so much scared of dying but of loosing everyone that I love. I cannot imagine life without Mother, Abba and Elizabeth. I do not want to think such thoughts, but living in this darkness I cannot help but think these thoughts.