I’ll Stumble, I’ll Fall, I’ll Get Up Again: Chapter Sixteen:
“Alyssa are yon okay?” Anna asked. I just sat there, staring at the empty space where my leg was. I knew it had been amputated of course, but sometimes it hit me that a part of me was missing.
Alyssa sat herself down next to me. “You’re going to go home soon Alyssa, be happy, not sad.”
“I am happy about going home Anna, but I’m sad too.” I tried to explain not really having the words.
“You’re sad, because you think you will never walk again, because of your leg.” Anna said, authority in her voice, as if she was daring me to disagree with her, of course I could not, because Anna was right, the thought of never dancing again made me sad.
“Yes.” I said, not really able to say more.
“Maybe you can dance again Alyssa, you shouldn’t give up.”
My sister was giving me the encouragement I gave her, reminding me of what I always reminded her. We are not defined by the way the world labels us.
“You’re right Anna.” I said finally.
“I know I am, because that is what you always tell me.” Anna said.
Somehow just having my sister there for me, was enough. I had Mom too, but Anna and I were close, I had been like a second mother to her. And it still felt very much that way, not that our Mother wouldn’t give everything she had to make sure we were okay. She had done that many times over.
“It’s okay to be sad sometimes though.” Ann said thoughtfully. “I was sad when you were hurt, and scared. I was scared that you were going to die.”
“I know.” I said, hugging Anna tight, as if to protect her from the pain, something I had learned was not possible. It did not stop me from trying though.
“I’m glad you didn’t die Alyssa.”
“I am too Anna.”
”I prayed a lot, just like you told me to do when I was scared.”
“And I’m very proud that you remembered to do that, even though you were so scared.” I said, smiling. She had already made me stop feeling so depressed about loosing my leg. I still had my Mom and Anna. I shuttered to think what could have happened if either one of them had been in the car…