I’ll Stumble, I’ll Fall, I’ll Stand Again: Chapter Five

Chapter Five:

Some days were just harder than others, there was no denying that fact. But that could be said about anyone really.

I grew frustrated at times, with the things I struggled with, times that I found myself angry and hurt. I did my best no to take my hurt, and pain out on others, especially not Mom and Krista, but there were times it happened, times when I snapped.

I did not want to hurt my family though, especially when they had uprooted their lives to be here for me. The one I was truly mad at was the person who decided to get behind the wheel drunk, and I was mad at my Father, anger I had suppressed that feeling for years. I had hid my feelings even from myself in order to protect my family.

But now I had no way to get in touch with him, he had no interest in us it seemed. Now would be the time I needed him now, but he was gone. He had left us long ago.

I tried to shake these thoughts from my head. I didn’t want to go to that negative headspace. I needed to focus on the good, the people I had in my life, not the one person who had left me.

Lord why am I thinking about him, why am I dredging up that pain,I have enough to Desk with now, but I need him, I need to be able to lean on him, but I guess I never really had him to,lean on, even when he…