In An Instant Part Thirteen…

Michelle Renee Kidwell
5 min readJul 26, 2022
Thanks to Jakub Pabis @jacob_shooting for making this photo available freely on Unsplash 🎁

Elaina, I want to say how proud I am of you. You have always been so strong sometimes it was easy to forget that I the older sister, and you are the little sister, because it always seems I have turned to you, but now I am here to convince you, it’s okay to turn to me. I’ll be the strong one for a change, I hate that it happened this way, and if I could I would take your place, but we have already had that argument haven’t we? You made it clear what you thought when I told you that, but you are my little sister and I hate this happened to you. I’m angry at some nameless, faceless kid who shot you. I won’t glorify evil like that, with a name or face. But I will say it shouldn’t have happened a kid, not even nineteen shouldn’t have been able to walk into a classroom full of twelve and thirteen year olds and shoot their teacher. You struggle with this too, I see it n your eyes.

Despite all you have been through though, you are always thinking about others, your students, Chloe, and me. You have always been that way, always so concerned about others, but please don’t think that means you have to hide what you are feeling. You deserve to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

Sone nights, I sneak into the room you share with Chloe to check on you both. Especially on those nights when I hear you crying out. You thought for a time that I didn’t hear you, but I hear you, and I know you are hurting what I don’t understand is why you feel you need to hide that pain from me.

You’re strong Elaina there is no denying that, but even the strongest of us, have moments when we feel weak and helpless, there is no shame in that. There’s no shame in admitting you need help either.

But I think I see something you aren’t seeing, the progress you are making. Little steps that are giving you a new level of independence, you don’t see it, but Chloe and I do, and we see something else too, we see the way you are learning to speak out for yourself. You aren’t going to sit by while others try to tell you what you can and cannot do, and I can’t tell you how proud of you I am for that. You are a fighter Elaina, never forget that.

You are making progress physically, it may not be as fast as you like, who am I kidding, I know it’s not as quickly as you would like it to be, but you are making…

Michelle Renee Kidwell

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge in the light: Helen Keller