In An Instant Part Seven

Michelle Renee Kidwell
9 min readJul 12, 2022
Photo by Marcus Aurelius from Pexels:

You think you need to protect me Auntie, from your pain, your grief, but you don’t. I know you are hurting, I know you’re in pain. You’re scared even if you don’t want to admit that, and I understand.

But you don’t need to protect me, just because I’m twelve and you don’t want me to be scared, what would be more scary is watching you shut down. Mom says you need to grieve, we grieved as we watched the news unfold on a local station, we couldn’t see inside the building but it was all so scary, and even at the hospital when we learned you were going to make it we grieved.

I know you want to shield me, but you can’t shield me from this, and I don’t want you too. You don’t need to hide your grief and pain from me, bury It because when you do that, you are only setting yourself up to explode, at least that’s what Mother says, and you know Mom, she’s smart about that kind of thing.

Don’t think that I don’t see the pain in your eyes, every time someone helps you into bed or out of it, because you can’t do it on your own, but I believe one day you will, don’t give up, you are stronger than that.

You don’t think you are strong Auntie, but you are. Mom tells me that sometimes strong is being able to accept help when you need it, and you’ve done that despite how hard it is for you. And you’re determined to get back the classroom, you know what Auntie, that makes you a hero in my book.

I know you miss things like writing, I’ve been feeling out the thank you for thinking about me cards for you, and I can see it hurts, it shows in your eyes, you try to hide it, but you don’t and you don’t need to. I’m twelve now, almost a teenager, I know that you’re hurting, that you’re struggling that needing help for everything embarrasses you. But I believe you’ll get stronger Auntie, and I believe God is in control. You taught me that, and I’m grateful.

I don’t know if you will ever walk again, but you are going to be okay. You are strong Auntie, it’s not your ability to walk or write that makes you so it’s something that goes deeper than that.

But it’s okay to be upset, even to cry in front of me, we cried a lot when you were in the hospital, not sure what tomorrow would bring, but you’re home now, with us, and as much as I’m sure you would want to be in…

Michelle Renee Kidwell

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge in the light: Helen Keller