Let the Walls of Self Pity Crumble

Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who have been drawn to their knees in moments of weakness and still came out of it with songs of praises on their lips.

Why is it so often in society we tend to look more at our physical health than our emotional? We tend not to take the emotional aspects of our life seriously, or we become so wrapped up in them we find ourselves being one of those people we want to avoid, You know the type the one’s who can never have a word of praise on their lips, instead it is a complaint.

“When we make up or minds to take our emotional health seriously, we will do whatever is necessary to take care of ourselves.” (Clairmont 11)

I do not believe taking care of our emotional health involves sitting around in a constant state of self pity. It does not involve always looking at your situation and seeing it as worse than someone elses. The truth is you do not want to go there, because you are always going to find someone who has more reason to complain than you do. Yet they are often the greatest vessels.

“More times than I would like to admit, I’ve emotionally slammed on the brakes of my frustration in front of a loved one in an attempt to get him to hear me. I’ve tried to force that person off his road with a barage of complaints and accusations so he would stop and pay attention, or I’ve done so as an act of retaliation,” (18–19)

The fact is as believers we are going to have people react in any given situation, and though there is a time for every thing under the sun, as the good book says, it does not mean we live in a place of perpectual sorrow or of perpectual bliss. We have a heart overflowing with joy because of all the Lord has done for us, but that does not mean we do not face sorrow and it does not mean we are perfect either. It just shows that we are saved by a perfect Savior. There are going to be times when we get angry, but that does not make us any less of a Christian. It is the way we react in anger that is going to be a testament to our faith.

“anger needs boundaries, which don’t include using four wheel vehicles or ranting to make a point.” (19)

When we feel the emotion of anger, that is a good time to sit back and filter our words.

“When we put our words through the filters of kindness and truth, anger won’t have a chance to exact a greater price from everyone involved. If our motive is to reconcile differents and not to offend our offender or to prove her wrong, then we will have a heart resolve that leaves us feeling settled and holds the potential for restoration of the relationship.” (20)

The simple fact is that because we are creatures of the Flesh, even though we are reborn in the Spirit we are going to have times in our lives when we hurt others. We are going to have times when we are not going to have to focus so much on who was right or wrong, but more importantly we are going to have to restore broken friendships. Our Father does not want to see us sulking in anger no more than a Mother wants to see her children sulking after a fight.

“I’m leanring to ask God first ot lead and guide me into the truth before I go speeding off, shaking my fists at innocent bystanders.” (24)

Often in the heat of our anger we end up hurting others in the process, whether or not we realize it. It does not even have to be the person we felt offended us, often it is the person who is closest to us in the moment of anger.

2Peter 1:2–9

2Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

Making One’s Calling and Election Sure

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Another thing I believe the Lord frowns on is Self Pity. I certainly know that when I am around a person who can do nothing but think about every ache and pain they have, I want to get a far away from them as possible. I have experienced people in my life, who are so blinded to the good things in their life that all they can do is see the negative. I find myself thinking what a sad way to live. I am not saying I am perfect and I never have moments of self pity, I believe anyone who is honest with themselves will have to admit that at some point or another they do. I just choose not to wallow in it, self pity is not a pretty shade on anyone.

“Self pity is a road block to maturity not to mention that it keeps joy and potential friends at bay. Pity is tricky because once we fall down that deep well of anguish, we lose our ability to stop it’s momentum. (29)

Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who have been drawn to their knees in moments of weakness and still came out of it with songs of praises on their lips.

Phillipians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

“Living in self pity is a shortcut to depression, and who wants to go there. (29)

Whether or not we are parents, we are going to have those watching us, if we are leading the right example we do not have to worry, but if we are just talking the talk and not walking the walk that is when we get into trouble.

“Demonstrate your faith in the midst of hardship, and they will remember your steriling example during their hardships.” (32)

Another words when we are going through a struggle if we show an attitude of praise despite the hardships we will have no reason to worry about what kind of example we are being.

Ruth 1:16–20

16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” 18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

19 So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?”

20 “Don’t call me Naomi, [a] “ she told them. “Call me Mara, [b] because the Almighty [c] has made my life very bitter.

Ruth had been willing to leave eveything she knew, to be with her Mother in law. Even when her Mother in law told her she did not have to go, Ruth knew what was right in her heart, and unselfishly pulled up her roots and followed her Mother in law Naomi.

Psalm 40:2–3

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the LORD.

Helen Keller was a woman who could have had alot of reason to complain, born healthy, at the age of nineteen month, an illness called acute congestion of the head and stomach, nearly took her life, but though she survived, it took her hearing and her sight. Yet as she learned to communicate, as she learned to express herself with the loving hands of Teacher Anne Sullivan guiding her, she did not use her disability to seek out self pity, instead she used it to educate others. A quote by Helen Keller sums her feelings up well.

“I thank God for my Many handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work, and my God.” Helen Keller

Bible verses


Patsy Clairmont Quotes

I Second That Emotion Untangling Our Zany Feelings (c) 2008 Patsy Clairmont

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


C.C.O images found on http://www.pixabay.com



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store