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The Vanishing: Chapter Eight
I dream of Rachel more than I care to admit at times, some of the dreams are pleasant more like memories from long ago, but some are just distorted images that wake me up leaving me confused, in each of these dreams I can walk, but that’s not what’s memorable about the dreams, the thing that struck me about these dreams was Rachel was always in the dreams, we knew where she was, but that wasn’t reality.
Some dreams were far more exhausting than others, some dreams I would wake up from more exhausted than when I fell asleep, because I’d wake up with the realization that it was only a dream, and Rachel was still gone, I was still paralyzed, but Rachel not being there hurt far worse than legs that did not work as well as they should.
I thanked God for Esther, without her I would not make it through any of this, my family all of my family was my strength, I leaned on them. I could not get through any of this on my own. I knew that, I needed G-d and I needed my family.
Esther was the oldest of the three of us, and with that came responsibility, and sometimes pain. She carried the guilt for what happened to Rachel’s disappearance, a guilt that wasn’t hers to carry, but still it hurt.
I know I could not do this on my own G-d, I need you and I need my family.
